I spent a fair part of the week in transit, flying to Madrid, Dubai, and finally Delhi over the span of a few days. Although it was a long trip, everything went smoothly.
I was nervous as I went through Indian passport control that I would be too late and my taxi would have left, that my luggage would be gone after a delayed flight and a very long wait in the line to pass through the border control, but I found my luggage easily and my driver was waiting patiently by the exit we had planned.
I made it to my first lodging, a budget hotel called Hotel Kabli, Thursday evening. The hotel is great, located in Jangpura close to a metro station and at the end of the road with a large amount of space to itself. I had booked for just a few days, planning to feel things out before finding long-term housing in the city.
I tried to sleep and get settled with little success. The jet lag is for real with an 8.5 hour time difference, although I anticipated that.
The next day I managed to sleep some, taking an accidental four hour nap before heading out to get a metro pass, SIM card, money, and groceries. I got to explore a little of the city as I took the metro to Connaught Place to find the Airtel phone headquarters and man, is the Delhi metro awesome. It's brand new and clean, fast, and easy. It is also, of course, crowded, but Buenos Aires subway rides prepared me for that.
Coming from the US, I thought I would be prepared for security measures in places like the airport. That is, I think I scared a Madrid security officer in the airport when I so willingly spread my arms after the metal detector dinged for me and she needed to do a personal search. She stepped back and raised her eyebrows when I assumed the position, even though she had been in the process of asking me to do so. It's a habit and I think much less about it than I should.
Anyway, all that is to say, I was not prepared for the Delhi metro. You must pass through a metal detector and put your bags through an x-ray. There are soldiers with guns, and these aren't handguns. They're for real guns. I walked past a soldier lookout and had a barrel pointed at my head because they rest them on top of the security posts. It was a little disconcerting. On top of that, there are constant announcements about bombs and security. I guess I should have known, given the semi-constant discussion of conflict with Pakistan, that this might be the case. Now I'm sort of used to it, but I still get creeped out in front of the barrel.
Coming from the US, I thought I would be prepared for security measures in places like the airport. That is, I think I scared a Madrid security officer in the airport when I so willingly spread my arms after the metal detector dinged for me and she needed to do a personal search. She stepped back and raised her eyebrows when I assumed the position, even though she had been in the process of asking me to do so. It's a habit and I think much less about it than I should.
Anyway, all that is to say, I was not prepared for the Delhi metro. You must pass through a metal detector and put your bags through an x-ray. There are soldiers with guns, and these aren't handguns. They're for real guns. I walked past a soldier lookout and had a barrel pointed at my head because they rest them on top of the security posts. It was a little disconcerting. On top of that, there are constant announcements about bombs and security. I guess I should have known, given the semi-constant discussion of conflict with Pakistan, that this might be the case. Now I'm sort of used to it, but I still get creeped out in front of the barrel.
I am also taking advantage of the women's only cars (shout out to Emma Fesperman for one of many excellent recommendations), and I very much enjoy them, although I do get a lot of scrutiny. To generalize, women in India don't have short hair, so no matter what I do, I am always first addressed as sir. There have been possibly two exceptions to this outside of people who know me or knew of my gender in advance.
Anyway, it's a nice option, and I enjoyed getting to familiarize myself with yet another system of public transport that puts ours to shame.
On Saturday, I went to meet Bismay, with whom I'd been corresponding for a while and who has been insanely nice and helpful. We met at the Jangpura metro station to head to Lodi Gardens where a group from Delhi Queer Pride would be meeting to make placards for the parade.
Bismay met me with flowers and a hug and it was so good to speak in person.
We took an auto to Lodi Gardens. Autos are tiny motorized vehicles without side doors that are the main form of transportation in Delhi. They are green and yellow and although they have meters, the price is almost always negotiated in advance, and the first offer will be absurdly high. Getting used to bargaining, which goes against every Southern woman bone in my body, has been really difficult and at first I felt bad, but I now have no patience for it, which turns out to be a good things because walking away after two ridiculous offers is an effective method of getting the price down.
Anyway, we headed to Lodi Gardens to meet the group, and it's really, really gorgeous there. This is where we made placards:
There was a small group at first, but more and more people showed up with more and more food and at the end of a few hours, we had a solid number of placards and a great picnic.
I met quite a few nice people, inlcuding Yesh, a friend of Bismay's, Ankit, who works for a non-profit dealing with issues of sexuality in the city, and Spiros, who is here from Paris doing an internship with the EU.
Events organized by Delhi Queer Pride are meant to be safe spaces, so it was fine to take pictures, so long as the person knew and gave permission. I took a coule of group shots before I knew this, so I'm not using those, but here are some of the fantastic people at the event.
Bismay and James
Placard
Ankit
Spiros
Bismay and his final product
Spiros
The gorgeous flowers Bismay brought me
That night as I was walking home from the metro, there was a Sikh festival in the streets, so I got to see some camels, horses, and a parade of lights. It has been a loud few weeks generally, between celebrations and the upcoming elections, there have been a lot of marches in the streets, but I have enjoyed seeing a variety of parades.
I hit the bed early to get ready for Pride the next day! (Although really there was not much sleeping as jet lag lurked around.)
Pride started at 3pm the next day but I was going to arrive early to meet Bismay and get ready. Delhi is huge, so it takes quite a while to get anywhere (as Bismay told me, half an hour away is close), but public transport makes things easy. I arrived that afternoon to find Bismay, Spiros, and a few other people from the placard group getting ready to go.
The march started very close to Connaught Place and was set to go several blocks before ending with a rally.
The placards ready for distribution
With Spiros and our signs
With Bismay and his rainbow feathers
Drummers before the parade; they marched with us
The flag
Dancing
The crowd grew to several hundred as 3pm drew closer and people began to distribute pins, placards, and masks. The masks were for people who could not show their faces, for whatever reason, sometimes because of employment concerns, sometimes for family reasons. I thought they were a great idea and gave people a chance to be part of the celebration and the community while maintaining their personal safety and job security.
Finally, we set off down Tolstoy, marching together but in a very organic way. Where most pride events I have been to are very controlled, even in Buenos Aires where the crowd was a little crazy, this was much more laid back. Everyone marched at their own pace and we formed a dancing, marching amoeba for the entirety of the march.
It was nice because it was not hurried or harried and there was lots of opportunity to talk and meet new people. I lost and found Bismay, Yesh, Ankit, and Spiros several times, and I met lots of new people, some through random conversation and others through introduction.
Another unanticipated aspect of the parade was the expat presence. The majority of people were Indian, but I also met people from Australia, Germany, and the US, and in significant numbers. At the placard making, there were also people from other countries. This was also true, to some extent, in Warsaw and Argentina, but most foreign members of the community there were from countries nearby, like the Ukraine or Ecuador.
Reading about the city, it appears there is a growing population of foreigners here, whether for work, study, or vacation, and that seemed to be reflected in the parade.
I spoke with Cassandra, here from Australia, and with Sara, a Fulbright who was nice enough to ask me to a Thanksgiving dinner after I asked if she had heard of any expat events. More on that dinner, which was gorgeous and lots of fun, later.
Marching
I took a photo with the banner that the Juvetud gave me
We passed markets along the way
At the end of the march there was a rally with several speakers, switching in and out of Hindi. It's really interesting because even in Hindi, there are words adopted from English, so in any given Hindi speech, I might hear words like queer or gender and sexuality.
A common chant was "Azadi!" meaning freedom. The final speech ended with the speaker listing a series of groups, "Lesbians! Trans! Gay! Hijra!" followed by the crowd yelling "Azadi!" Although I couldn't understand everything being said, or even a majority of it, the feelings were familiar and the sentiments of the speeches were clear. Freedom and community, solidarity and activism.
The stage
After a moment of silence, we stuck our candles to the ground
After the march, a big group went to a bar to talk and have a beer. The restaurant was filled with people from Pride, and I sat talking with Bismay and several people for a few hours. It was fun and interesting, and I enjoyed meeting new people and getting to know everyone better.
At the end of the night, I had several new contacts and was excited to get to know new people as well as to start exploring new connections in the community.
The next day Cassandra and I had planned to meet at her hotel and see some of the city. Unfortunately, we missed each other due to hotel confusion, so I ended up doing something that I had not really anticipated: I bought new clothes.
As I mentioned before, I'm being confused for a man on a regular basis. This has happened in every country but the extent to which it happens here dwarfs all other experiences and in a country where things are gender segregated in a way they are not at home (eg, the security lines on the metro), it matters more.
There is also a standard of modesty that I am not sure that I meet. None of my shirts are particularly revealing but they do have short sleeves and a v-neck, and there is enough staring from curious or confused strangers without that added worry.
So I bought some traditional Indian clothes. They're ridiculously comfortable and they cover my arms and neck in a way that made me feel like maybe the stares would lessen (not sure that they have but hopefully now it's not about modesty).
Because this is traditional female dress, it helps with the gender confusion problem. As long as I'm wearing the top two parts of the total outfit (known as a salwar kameez, picture below), people seem to better understand that I am a woman, even though there are still quizzical stares and questions about my hair.
It makes me feel a little strange to wear something that is so clearly feminine and that I would not wear at home, but honestly, I think that being out of my comfort zone in 1,000 different ways has been one of the most beneficial parts of the Watson, and wearing traditional Indian dress is another way to respect cultural codes while challenging myself not to make my identity depend on my physical appearance.
That being said, I am not sure what butch women do in India, and I'm interested to find out.
The next day Cassandra and I met up and roamed the city, heading to India Gate. I was in my new clothes. Here's a breakdown:
Salwar Kameez (everything together):
Salwar: loose pants
Kurta: tunic
Dupatta: long scarf
At India Gate
Cassandra and I made plans for the next day as well. Probably my favorite thing about the Watson is being able to take the time to get to know people and deveop new relationships. I really enjoy spending afternoons over coffee or exploring new places.
Cassandra and I headed to Hauz Khas and Deer Park, both in South Delhi. Inder, who owns the hotel where I stayed, told me to check out Deer Park, and I had been told by lots of folks that Hauz Khas was beautiful and full of fun, cool shops and restuarants.
Deer Park. We didn't actually see any deer, but there were lots of cute squirrels and it was a nice, quiet place, which is by itself a rarity in Delhi.
We wandered over to Hauz Khas to see the shops and the village but mostly to walk through the ruins, which are gorgeous.
In the market
The ruins. They contain a mosque, madrasa, tomb, and several pavilions. They date back to the fourteenth century and the reign of Firuz Shah.
Hauz Khas means "royal tank" and was a water supply for the city.
Ruins of the madrasa
Walking through the ruins
Pavilions from another perspective
Outside the tomb
Ceiling of the tomb
Tombs of Firuz Shah, his son, and his grandson
View along the madrasa to the mosque
Colorful houses in Hauz Khas behind the ruins
Old and new, very Delhi
The ruins of the madrasa. If we read the map correctly, these would have been dorms.
With Cassandra. We accidentally matched.
Another view of the madrasa
That evening Cassandra and I went and had coffee with Spiros before heading home. Cassandra was leaving for the South, so we said goodbye and I headed back to Jangpura.
The next day was Thanksgiving! I spent part of the day working on housing stuff. One of the big differences for me in Delhi has been that I came without my housing planned in advance. On the one hand, I like the freedom and being able to see a place in person before renting, but on the other hand, it has been much more difficult to find short term housing than I anticipated, so I have needed a lot of time to work things out.
That evening, I headed to the opening of a gay magazine in Delhi. It's called Gaysi and it's basd out of Mumbai. There was a Q and A with several of the contributors and editors. I really enjoyed hearing their commentary and the readings from the zine. I spoke briefly with a few of the organizers and while we did not have a chance to meet during their trip to Delhi, I am hoping to be able to find them when I reach Mumbai for Pride in February.
Immediately after thay Gaysi event, I went to Thanksgiving! Jasneet hosted at her apartment in South Delhi, and after a struggle to find a bottle of wine and a misunderstanding with metro security (apparently alcohol is not allowed but they very nicely let me pass with a warning), I arrived at her apartment to find a gorgeous setup and a ton of nice people, mostly Fulbrights but some other visitors as well.
I spent the evening talking with a bunch of different researchers doing work all over India. Everyone was happy to be celebrating Thanksgiving and we had a delicious vegetarian dinner with wine followed by yummy pie. I sat and chatted with Sara, who invited me, and we split an auto home later that evening.
I am incredibly gratefuly to Jasneet and Sara and everyone there. This was my first major holiday away from home, and being able to spend it with such a good group made things a lot easier and sure beat my original plans (none).
The next day I was hit with what I assume was some sort of jetlag/new to Delhi sickness combo so I was a bit useless. I have been incredibly lucky in that I haven't been sick or totally destroyed by jetlag, although I did just start crying one afternoon due to sleep deprivation and general new place emotion. Watson life. Nothing a good night's sleep and some reflection/conversation won't fix.
After securing housing (!), I spent Saturday packing and working, getting ready for a move to a new neighborhood and suring up contacts and meetings in the community for the next week.
All in all my first week and a half in Delhi went amazingly well, thanks to the generosity of the Delhi community in all its forms.
This week I'm thankful for:
1. Bismay and his generosity and kindness
2. Delhi Pride and the wonderful people there
3. The Fulbright community for taking in a stray
4. New food, new places, and a new city to explore
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