My week in Mehrauli started with a fun Sunday. I went to see Dedh Ishqiya, a Bollywood film, with a group of friends, but first we had brunch at Rohini, Phoebe, and Jasneet's apartment. Rohini and Carolyn made delicious pancakes and eggs before we headed to the movie, where I tried to follow along with some educated guess work and a whispered translation from Rohini during particularly important or confusing parts. Afterward we had sushi and ice cream and it was a great day. I did some grocery shopping and hung around with Rohini and Carolyn before heading home. Unfortunately I was really not well (again, a familiar story during these few weeks particularly) so I went to bed early with lots of medicine.
The next two days were my last at TARSHI, and I was really sad about it. On my last day, everyone came together and gave me a beautiful gold bookmark of a ship to carry me forward on my journey. I have so enjoyed being able to spend time with and learn from the amazing group of people who work at TARSHI and I am so grateful to them for everything. My time in Delhi was made so much better by being able to head to the office and work with such cool people.
On Tuesday night I had coffee with Sara and Rohini before heading to Suparna's for dinner. Suparna's was one of my favorite places to stay, and she invited me back to dinner that week. It was good to see her and Corinne, who was also there when I stayed last time, and to meet Stella, a new guest.
The rest of the week is filled mostly with me being sick and heading to the doctor. I wrote more about that in its own blog post. Being sick is an unfortunate and frequent part of the story of my time in India.
Anyway, I also managed to schedule and conduct some interviews with quite a few lovely people who were generous enough to share their thoughts and stories with me. I will transcribe and post those soon (hopefully).
Being in a new neighborhood, I also took some time to explore and try to prevent myself from going stir crazy. Mehrauli is one of the oldest neighborhoods in Delhi and it feels much more rural than anywhere else I have stayed in the city. The view from my window provides a small example of what I mean.
In addition to the animals and greenery, there are winding streets full of shops and houses; they are too tiny for actual cars although brave (and annoying) drivers on mopeds and motorcycles force their way through the crowds and street work.
I enjoyed walking through Mehrauli but did not particularly enjoy living there at night, when walking by myself was not an option the way it had been in CR Park or Malviya Nagar. Everyone told me to take an auto, from my landlord to my friends who made little noises of disapproval when I told them I had relocated there.
The issue of safety in Delhi is always in the back of my mind, and I pay attention when people tell me that I shouldn't walk alone after a certain hour or in a specific neighborhood. Friends refer to "the incident" (the December gang rape of a Delhi woman on a bus in 2012) or "these things that happen" (sexual assaults and rapes, like the recently publicized attack of the Danish tourist and the regular issue of harassment for Indian women) in conversation or when talking specifically about safety or my safety, and I am reminded of my gender and often hope that people assume that I am a man when I am out at night.
Anyway all that is to say that I have been more aware of the possibility of assault while in Delhi and more thoughtful about personal safety in Mehrauli, even as I enjoyed living in the neighborhood and getting to know a new place.
View from my bedroom window at the Mehrauli apartment
Other view from the same apartment window
That Friday I also attended a documentary screening. The film focused on gender and education, following the lives and stories of several trans or gender queer individuals. It was fascinating to hear their stories and to listen to the panel afterward, which covered a number of topics, including schools and the education system as sites of violence. A lot of the subjects of the documentary did not finish their schooling and told stories of being bullied or intimidated.
Interestingly, one of the panelists mentioned that schools are interested in and legal able to include information about gender variance where they are not able to do the same with sexuality, so there are several schools that have implemented programs on gender identity and the hijra community. Hopefully this means that things will progress. In the meantime, I hope that a better support system for genderqueer and trans people develops. I also hope that things progress to include information on sexuality, but with the situation with 377 that seems like it will be a very long time coming.
The film was careful to separate gender and sexuality, which made it particularly interesting to me. In my own experience here, it has been my gender performance that has caused most of the trouble for me. While I see it as directly related to my sexuality, I also understand that this is not the case for every person and that separating gender and sexuality is an important part of questioning heteronormativity. I really enjoyed both the documentary and the panel discussion afterward.
The next day I went to lunch with Spiros and some of his friends to say goodbye before he headed back to France. We ate a good meal and had lots of fun talking and it was a good, if sad, goodbye. I have met so many fantastic people in India and saying goodbye is really difficult.
That evening I had coffee with Rohini before heading to bed early. The sickness that would not forced me to cancel my trip to Rajasthan, which I had been really excited about, and i ended up spending Sunday being sick yet again. Luckily I was able to extend my stay in the apartment so I stocked up on fluids and spent Monday trying to get better.
On Tuesday I went to a talk on homophobia hosted by Artists at Work, a collective in Delhi. The talk was held at Oxford Bookstore in CP and it was a great discussion. Several panelists from various backgrounds including film, academia, writing, and law all discussed homophobia from different perspectives.
The collective showed brief films they had made around Delhi about the issue of homophobia and Section 377 and they had a few performers play music and sing. There were movie clips, fiction readings, and a series of meaningful and important questions from the audience.
There was also this video:
I really appreciated this panel in particular because it focused not on 377 but on homophobia as a social issue and the discussion was not just about legal issues but about how society and culture need to change and how we as people have to work on our own issues with homosexuality in order to create an environment that is accepting and appreciative of diversity.
During the week I caught up with several friends. I met with Jasneet for coffee and to do a little work before heading to have dinner with my landlord and his mother, who cooked a delicious meal for us. Bismay and I grabbed dinner before meeting with a few friends to hang around a talk for a bit. As my time in India grows shorter I am more and more aware of how much I will miss these amazing people.
I also went to the post office, always an interesting experience. In Delhi, a man sitting outside the main office packs your box and then sews it up. When I asked why he explained, "The Indian Post is terrible. They will break it, so we sew it up." I sent it home and hopefully it will reach soon, despite the worker sending it to Malolo Drive instead of Makiki Drive, a mistake only evident on the receipt slip.
On Friday, I relocated to Suparna's for my last few days in Delhi. I spent Saturday talking and hanging around with friends, going to temple in CP and eating delicious street food. Jasneet and I had a really great dinner to say goodbye (for now) and I began preparing to leave the city for the last time.
Hanging around in the park with Kaushal and Partha
Sunday was Republic Day, the celebration of the adoption of the Indian constitution and there was a big parade at India Gate.
I went instead to a protest that followed the same route as Pride, meeting with Vinay and Bismay and walking to the starting point. Called Reclaiming the Republic, the protest was put together and attended by a variety of groups, including women's rights, disability rights, and gay rights organizations. We marched and yelled and sang as people clapped and played tambourines. The march ended at Jantar Mantar, where I attended my first protest in Delhi, and I saw many of the same people give speeches and rally the crowd. I stood with friends and shouted the only Hindi words I know well, all used in protest chants. I felt sad but also incredibly grateful thinking about what the city had given me. I said goodbye to some of the people who made me feel most welcome and left with the same bittersweet feelings that always accompany these goodbyes, the pleasure of the experience mixing with the finality of the last hugs and half-packed suitcases.
Pictures from the protest:
Bismay!
Maya Rao, whose performance art is amazing
Republic Day decorations leaving the protest
The next day I started my mad dash to do a few final things in the city. I packed most of my stuff before heading to visit TARSHI one last time. We chatted over lunch and I remembered to take a group picture this time. I gave everyone a final hug and goodbye.
With the crazy fabulous women of the office: Dipika, Shruti, Anisha, Tanisha, and Jasmine. (Shout out to Ankit, who was not there that day).
From there I headed to Humayun's Tomb, a gorgeous remnant of the Mughal dynasty. As I entered the complex, a pair of women asked me to take their photo. They looked vaguely familiar but at this point, anyone who is clearly a tourist feels a bit like home so I paid no mind. As it turns out, though, they were members of BETTY of L Word fame. They're touring India as part of the Arts Envoy sponsored by the US Government. Allison and Elizabeth were both really nice and we traded photos and talked about travel and experiences in India so far. It was so unexpected and so unexpectedly queer to meet a pair of people who were part of one of the shows that, for all its flaws, made me feel connected to a much bigger community and made me feel better about myself as a person.
Feather walking behind the tomb
Back view. I somehow missed the ticketed entrance so I did some exploring
Other graves, of whom I do not know
Entrance
With Elizabeth from Betty
Humayun's Tomb
Later that afternoon Bismay and I met in CR Park to eat some Bengali food before heading to a temple to pray and chat for a bit. We said goodbye early that evening. It was really difficult. Bismay has been so amazing and helped to welcome me to India with far more kindness than I deserved.
Goodbye selfie
The next morning I finished packing and said goodbye to Stella and Corinne before making quick trips to the Indira Gandhi House and the Gandhi Smriti. The Indira Gandhi house is incredibly well done and interesting, full of personal and political information about Indira Gandhi. The last part of the house is the pathway where she was executed in 1984.
Inside the house
The pathway where she was shot, now as memorial
The Gandhi Smriti marks the place where Gandhi was assassinated. There is a wall tracing rebellion against colonial occupation in India and a hallway full of information on Gandhi himself.
The spot marking his assassination
Immediately after visiting, I said goodbye to Suparna and headed to the airport in a flurry, making the transition to Mumbai for Pride.
I am particularly grateful for:
1. Everyone who made my time in Delhi the amazing learning experience that it was. Thank you all so much. I will leave India with so many memories and a new perspective thanks to y'all.
2. My time at TARSHI and everyone who works there, obviously included in #1 as well
3. Unexpected encounters
4. The reflection that comes with saying goodbye to a city
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